cabernet savig-weiser

Briefly, my summation:

Mr. McCain: Intelligent, Ernest, Nostalgic, Stagnate.

Mrs. Palin: Smart, Frank, Driven, Unknown, Puppet.

Mr. Obama: Intelligent, Progressive, Inspirational, Relevant, Presidential.

Mr. Biden: Intelligent, Frank, Rounded, Compassionate, Whitest teeth in the universe.

With all the talk of 'Joe Six-pack' and 'Joe the Plumber', I found a related article in the paper this week.


Obama Clinches 'Joe Cabernet Sauvignon' Vote

October 16th, 2008

WASHINGTON- Following a strong performance by the Democratic nominee in Tuesday's Presidential debate, political analysts overwhelmingly agree that Sen. Barack Obama has all but clinched the much-sought-after "Joe Cabernet Sauvignon" voting bloc. "Once again, Obama has proved his ability to speak directly to all the regular truffle-oil-guzzlin', Nabokov-readin', opera-attendin' folks who play such an important part in deciding this election," MSNBC commentator Chris Mathews said of the Illinois senator's strong connection with the nation's hardworking gallery owners, literary critics and gourmet-cheese purveyor. "His strong rapport with the average haut monde Joseph could tip the scales Nov. 4." Sen. John McCain's recent attempts to reach out to this constituency by wearing an elegant silk ascot where not well received, having been described in most quarters as "pandering of the most contemptuous variety."

-the Onion

After a numbingly long campaign, four debates, and several silly impersonations complements of Fey and Poehler, I'm ready to push the button.

I count no chicken before it's been turned into chicken-soup,




...but I feel very positive about the forthcoming election. I am hopeful to watch the pendulum swing back towards the center. It's been like waiting for Halley's to return.

When I think about the two major parties, Democrat and Republican, I perceive them as two separate cheeks on the same giant national ass. While both have their merits, they both are capable of creating a great stink. Moderation is not a strength of either cheek, so the continual shifting of power must be endured by the ductile middle constituents that have recently grown to make up nearly one-third of the attendance.

I hear the cries all the time, "We don't need the stinking right cheek, Banish it!" From the opposite shore, "Whoa was the day that the left cheek entered the scene! Death to the left cheek!" I grow weary of the rattle.

Blended wines have produce some beautiful offspring, so perhaps...

Should Senator Obama receive the promotion that I'm endorsing, I hope we will be able to get into some desperately needed national deep cleaning. I know that spit and polish is uncomfortable for some people. Articulation worries some folks and drinking beer imported from somewhere other than a Budwiser factory is a bit suspect. But fear not, a good scrubbing of the floors never hurt anyone and most often allows one to find that lost puzzle piece behind the couch.

Now that the debates are past-tense, I feel a little more relaxed. Time to crack a beer and a smile. Last night at a charity fund raiser at New York's Waldorf Astoria Hotel, the candidates cracked jokes. Sen. Obama remarked: "Barack is actually Swahili for 'that one,'" Obama deadpanned to the tuxedoed crowd. "And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president."

McCain told the crowd that Obama wasn't upset by his awkward "that one" reference during their second debate. "He doesn't mind at all," McCain said. "In fact, he even has a pet name for me: George Bush."


In another article, Americans appear ready to lighten up.

Poll: 85% Of Americans Would Like To See Candidates Compete In Funny Obstacle Course

October 15, 2008

WASHINGTON—According to a USA Today–Gallup poll released Monday, as many as 85 percent of Americans strongly wish to see Sens. Barack Obama and John McCain race through a gauntlet of comically ludicrous hazards and encumbrances sometime before Nov. 4. "Voters want to know how Obama's poise compares with McCain's experience, specifically when racing to pick the flag out of a giant foam nose," political analyst and Gallup pollster Brian Garfield said. "It has been a grueling nominating season, and now the American people want to see the candidates prove their mettle in a gigantic syrup moat. If they react the wrong way under pressure—say, on some sort of gravy slide or human-size hamster wheel—the results could be hilarious." At press time, neither candidate had comment, as they were both being zipped into sumo suits.

-the Onion

So, in the days ahead, don't worry, eat good food, walk through the leaves on the street, enjoy this season, and vote mindfully, prayerfully. Vote your conscious. Have faith in your family, your friends and neighbors. If you're a person of faith, have faith in God, as I do. Everything will be alright. Remember, the President is just a hired temp. It is our behavior that has far more impact on what kind of country we live in.

"You must do what you feel is right, of course." - Ben Kenobi

Have a good weekend, and Godspeed, John Glenn,


Dave